Good morning!
After a series of struggles, I think I am slowly starting to figure out how to operate this damn thing. It took me at least 20 minutes and a Google search to add a comments section and a 'contact me' spot on the blog - hopefully I've done both things correctly. If you're reading this, feel free to drop me a line on either or both so I'll know it's working. I am far too young to be this confused by technology. Anyway, moving on...
Today is my ten month 'monthiversary' with my boyfriend! I know it doesn't sound like a huge accomplishment, but if you know me, you know how difficult I am to deal with and you have nothing but admiration for my boyfriend. If he's made it 10 months, I think he can handle anything. I'm not typically one of 'those' people. I'm not into the cheesy, hopeless romantic stuff. I don't want a candlelit dinner and rose petals scattered all over the bed. My idea of a good time is ordering in pizza and binge watching Netflix (which is exactly what we did last night, after a random crying session on my part). However, I do think it's important to at least acknowledge those little milestones. It doesn't have to be anything over the top; we don't exchange gifts and we don't always go out for a meal to mark that another month has gone by, but we do make a point of mentioning it. Even if it's just a, "hey, happy ten months!" as he's getting out of the car to go to work, taking those 5 seconds to let your partner know that you're aware of your relationship milestones is a positive thing. By doing so, you are also giving yourself a moment to think about the relationship and reflect on it. How do you feel about having spent another month together? What has the past month been like for your relationship? Have you been busy? Stressed? Preoccupied with other things? Taking the time to consider these thingse could be very enlightening for your relationship!
For instance, over the past month, I have been insanely stressed and moody. I have an important exam coming up (the NCLEX, if anyone is familiar with it) and the hours of study have really been getting to me. When I think about the events that have conspired over the past month, regaredless of how insignificant they seem, I am suddenly aware of how brutal it must be to be living with me right now. Me being stressed directly translates into a messy apartment: dishes all over the counter, blankets and pillows scattered in the living room (I'm a chronic napper), text books, cue cards and notebooks on every surface, clothes covering the bedroom floor. Initially, this makes me feel guilty. Why should my boyfriend have to deal with my bad moods and lack of tidiness? He's not the one who has to write the exam so his daily life should not be rained on by my cranky state. But then I realize what this means about him and our relationship. He never gets upset when there's pizza crust stuck to plates. He doesn't complain when I drop whatever I'm doing to have a nap. He is understanding of my situation and relentlessly supportive. My lighthearted "happy 10 months!" just transformed into becoming more self-aware of my moods and how they can interfere with my relationships if I can't reign them in... but more importantly, it caused me to acknowledge how amazing my partner is. It served as a reminder of how grateful I should feel to have such a kind soul in my life, and it made me look forward to seeing him tonight when he finishes work and spending an evening together starting with dinner out. No, you don't have to spend $50 on a swanky dinner and get gussied up for a night on the town. But after a stressful month and the looming presence of my upcoming exam, it sure does sound nice to spend an evening out with my love with zero talk of studying.
I might sound like I'm contradicting myself, saying you don't have to go out for dinner to mark the occasion and then announcing that we're going out for dinner - but don't get me wrong, I'll be the first to admit that we don't always make time for ourselves. Life is busy. It's a constant struggle of trying to find a balance between work, play, love. But this dinner is just as much a 'night off' for him as it is for me, and I hope he knows that I will be equally as supportive if and when a stressful situation comes flying his way.
Today, take a minute to think about a special person in your life --- partner, sibling, parent --- and let them know they're on your mind. Life flies by us at lightning speed so today, I want you to make it your mission to slow it down for just a second and wear your heart on your sleeve and let them know you love them.
-- AP
(PS: If you're reading this, thanks! And I'm sorry for getting all Dr. Phil on you.)